Gratefully Yours

As young children, we are taught to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. On the surface, these expressions are evidence of good manners. A dig into their true meaning reveals feelings and attitudes. Saying ‘please’ demonstrates that you don’t feel entitled to have someone expend effort on your behalf. ‘Thank you’ acknowledges the favor of the effort and expresses gratitude.

Recently, I was a lead volunteer in a fundraising campaign on behalf of a non-profit organization. At the close of the campaign, I wrote thank you emails to everyone who donated to let them know the actual impact of their support. To my surprise, several people responded, saying how nice it was to hear of the success of the fundraising effort, and that they would be happy to contribute in the future. For me, the responses were proof that saying a simple ‘thank you’ is always worthwhile and appreciated, and the more specific, the better.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. – William Arthur Ward

Expressing gratitude has many lasting benefits. Research shows that people who keep a gratitude journal in which they regularly write down their grateful moments, experience significant increases in their overall life satisfaction and well-being. Also, they reported having more positive emotions, feeling more alive, sleeping better, expressing more kindness and compassion and stronger immune systems.

If you’re like me, starting a gratitude journal sounds like a great idea; however, I doubt my motivation to keep up the practice on a regular basis. And because expressing gratitude should be a default feeling for all of us, here are some suggestions to start and maintain a long term gratitude practice.

• Don’t wait for special occasions to express your gratitude. Look for small details in your everyday life for which you are grateful. Be specific in writing: “My wife gave me a shoulder massage when she saw I was stressed”, or “My husband took me out to dinner so I didn’t have to cook after a long day.” Challenge yourself to notice something different every day.

• Set aside a specific time to journal. Whether it’s bedtime or when you awake in the morning, schedule a few moments to record your gratitude at the time you’re best able to focus.

•  Mix up your gratitude expressions. If daily journaling is too much, set a time weekly (Sunday evening?) to write down everything you can think of that you are grateful for that happened during the prior week. You’ll benefit from the good vibes the recall of those recent experiences will bring. If journaling isn’t your thing, consider creating a gratitude jar. Whenever you experience gratitude, write it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Be on the lookout for expressions of gratitude to fill your jar to the brim.

• Be social in practicing gratitude. Write a letter to someone in your circle expressing your gratitude to them for something they did, or just for being there for you. Our relationships with other people are the greatest determining factor in our happiness and expressing your gratitude to them will give them, and you a big boost.

Gratitude lasts more than the moment. As you write a gratitude letter you feel good and that feeling of giving thanks has a lasting effect on your mood. The more gratitude you express, the longer and better you feel as gratitude becomes your default feeling. Researchers at Eastern Washington University found four primary characteristics of grateful people.

• They feel a sense of abundance in their lives.
• They appreciate the contributions of others to their well-being.
• They recognize and enjoy life’s small pleasures.
• They acknowledge the importance of experiencing and expressing gratitude.

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